Job interview
- Please have a sit. Before anything else, let me explain that the requirements for the position are many. The company is extremely demanding with its employees.
- I understand, that’s exactly why I’m here in this chair.
- Do you speak Spanish?
- I do.
- Everyone speaks Spanish nowadays! What about Aramaic? Do you speak it?
- Of course not! Who speaks Aramaic?
- Few professionals. That is why they are so valued. Tell me a little about your qualities.
- I have more than 20 years of experience in the market.
- Impressive.
- It’s just that I started early…
- Impressive that in more than 20 years, your greatest achievement have been to remain in the market for more than 20 years. Any hobby?
- I don’t have time for this, I live for work.
- Oh really?
- Yes, my focous is always on work. You can see that I have spent my entire career in a single company and I am very proud of that.
- Um… Curious.
- True, I see many people who do not establish anywhere, I am different.
- Curious to be proud of that. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
- A lion, the king of the jungle, who exercises his domination over the environment.
- Sorry, it was just a test to see if you would answer such a stupid question. Let’s talk about remuneration, all right?
- Clear.
- Do you prefer a fixed or productivity salary?
- For sure, fixed. I will work better knowing that I don’t have a salary pressure every month.
- Well, if even you don’t trust your ability to bring results why would I? I think that’s all I need to know, the interview is over.
- Got it. It looks like I didn’t pass, right?
- You were the worst interviewee of my life. You are hired.
- Sorry? What do you mean by “hired”?
- I would never hire you. And as we are in need of a new business vision, you are the perfect choice. Congratulations!
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