Intelligent life


- Where am I? Where’s my bicycle?
- You’ve been abducted, believe it or not. However, believe it or not will not make any difference in your situation.
- Unbelievable! I always heard about that. Just was not aware that you look just like us and even speak our language!
- I only materialised myself into a body more comfortable to you to see. Besides it, Earth’s languages are too primal. Five minutes of studying time and I would be able to speak any of them. Anyway… Tell me your name.
- I’m John Mark, nice to meet you.
- It’s my pleasure, John Mark. I’m YYZ and I’m am sure you have many questions to ask. Bring it on.
- What do you want? Are you going to open up my body in order to make experiments?
- Of course not. If even you have X-ray and ultrasound scan technology, why would you think we must open up somebody to find out what’s inside?
- Well put. Another one: there’s a God?
- Oh my God, you humans have this obsession, don’t you? Every time I have to answer the exact same question. Long ago it was a more flexible and convicted question. They used to ask if I could get them to Athena, Odin or Shiva. Nowadays it’s all about God, God and God. I’m sorry about the outburst, and I’m sorry to disappoint you with my answer… The truth is too complex to you to understand, you’ll better keep up with the magic mystery.
- All right then. Here I go again: what are the numbers of the next lottery game?
- How predictable you are hahaha. The fear of death and the greed is always walking by your side. Well, in this one I could sort of help you. For me, it’s not a too complicated formula. The issue is that you will hardly remember everything is passing here, specially a sequel of numbers.
- Hey, so I’m smarter than you, because the solution is quite simple: just write it down on a piece of paper and put it into my pocket.
- I wish it was that simple. By contract I can’t give you such a proof of everything that’s going on here.
- What contract are you talking about?
- The contract is one of the complex subjects I mentioned before, about how the universe works. You should let it go.
- Well done. Just remembered another question: the Earth is round or flat?
- Humans can’t help to surprise me over and over again. You are capable of tiny evolutions and giant regressions. If you can see Venus and Mars in its round shape and yet, there are people who thinks there’s a single flat planet. There is not. And if the Earth was flat, there would not be zones, can you get it?
- I have a good one. What’s the meaning of life?
- Too cliche, but also too good. The answer is 42.
- I don’t get it.
- I told you it’s a complex issue.
- What about the Egyptian hieroglyphs showing aliens? The 51 area? Stonehenge? Were your people part of all this?
- Oh, I’m thrilled to have an admirer of our work. Yes, we participated of all these events, but they’re nothing but pastime, fun, a way of getting rid of the boredom the universe can put you through sometimes. I know it’s useless to say, but you shouldn’t take it seriously.
- Another one. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
- Obviously the egg. Reptiles lay eggs, and they came before birds in your planet. Don’t you ever study?
- So I came all the way here just to be screwed?
- Sorry, sometimes I lost my patience when talking to habitants of emerging planets. And now, you were the one who gave me a lesson for being so perceptive. You got exactly why you’re here for. Unfortunately, your time here is almost over.
- How so? I can’t even make another question?
- I could say you just asked twice. Although, as a proof of my gratitude for your presence, I give you another shot.
- Great. I wish to know for how long you know there’s intelligent life on Earth.
- Well… The answer is: hahahahahahaha.
- What kind of answer is that?
- I apologize. The answer is: hahahahahaha. Speaking seriously now. By our calculations, in 5 thousand years intelligent life will exist on Earth.
- So, that’s what’s really happening here! You just brought me here to screw with me!
- Calm down, I only answered your question in the most objective way. And thing on the good side: you’re funny. I like you. The truth is I have a revelation. John, I’m your father.
- Really?
- Not really, of course not hahahaha… You believe in anything. Now, seriously. Thanks for your participation, I’ll drop you back to the desert road with your bicycle. Bye, bye.
Suddenly, John Mark disappears from the ship.
YYZ looks to the camera and says:
- And that’s the end of another “Human in the Ship”, the most incredible show of the universe. Thanks for your audience, see you in the next episode.

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